


The Many Names of Kylo Ren

by maq_moon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Accidental Disguises, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluffy and Silly, Kylo Ren Doesn't Know How to Flirt, Reydar Month, rey is taking none of kylo's shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9466856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maq_moon/pseuds/maq_moon
Summary: Ben just wants to apologize. It's not his fault that he looks like a police sketch when he approaches her or that the stylist managed to somehow bleach his hair. He can't help that he turns into an idiot every time he talks to her. The words don't seem to come out right until he looks utterly unlike himself.





	

He wasn't stalking her. Really.

He wasn't even following her.

He just kind of knew when she would be somewhere and made sure he was there at the same time.

It wasn't creepy, no matter what his dad said.

Ben just wanted to apologize, and there was _so much_ to apologize for. He wanted to apologize for pulling her hair in primary school. He really wanted to apologize for sabotaging her shop projects with a buzz saw when he knew they would get better grades than his. He really, really wanted to apologize for calling her a "skinny, flat-chested loser whose parents didn't even want her" in high school. She hadn't cried; she had punched him in the dick hard enough to make _him_ cry. "That was rough, even for you," Armitage had said. "Just ask her out already. You're acting like an eight-year-old."

There had been plenty of opportunities to apologize. He could have done it during their obligatory dance as Prom King and Queen. Instead, she looked away from him as soon as the camera bulb had flashed and he had bitten his tongue. He could have done it at graduation, that sacred time when all wrongs are righted and all wounds healed. Instead he had studiously ignored her as she gave her Valedictorian speech and didn't spare her a glance as he moved to the podium to speak as Salutatorian. He could have done it when he came home from college his Freshman year when he saw her restoring classic cars with his father. Instead he went for a walk in the rain and didn't return to Han's garage until well after dark.

He desperately needed to apologize. Like Armitage had said, Ben had always acted like a child with a crush. While that's how it started, he had grown into a teenager with a crush, then a collegiate with maybe something more than a crush. Now, though- now he was an adult living back in his hometown and he saw her _everywhere_. Everything and nothing had changed about her. She looked the same, only more beautiful. He could hear her laughing sometimes, just as he remembered it- boisterous and mirthful.

So he knew when she went to the bookstore, the museum, the scrap yard. He had to know so that he could apologize. That's why it wasn't stalking. He was getting information for the greater good.

He had a scruffy goatee and classic Ray-Bans the first time approached her. It was Tuesday, 6:30. Barnes & Noble Cafe. She was finishing a blueberry muffin and drinking something warm, balancing a book in one hand. Ben cleared his throat.

"Can I help you?" Rey asked, slightly annoyed. She turned a page, not looking at him.

"I was just wondering... what you were reading," Ben said lamely. "You look very engrossed."

"And who are you that I should put down my book?"

"It's Ben...net. Bennett. Like Jane Austen. My mom's a nerd." _Fuck._  

"Okay, Bennett." She flipped the cover of her book up for him to see.

"War and Peace? You're reading Tolstoy?" he asked incredulously.

"What, do I look dumb or something?" Rey challenged, hazel eyes flaring. _Double fuck._

"No, it's just- that's a really difficult book."

"And I'm enjoying it immensely. Unless you'd care to discuss its themes, please leave me alone... Bennett."

"I didn't mean to insult you-"

"But you did, and now one of us has to leave."

Ben sighed. "I'm sorry. I'll go." _Triple fuck._

The second time he saw her, he had shaved his goatee and had a smart mustache. He wore his reading glasses and had his black hair pulled into the approximation of a man bun. Maybe she was into hipsters. Friday afternoon, Contemporary Arts Museum. He got there early so that she bumped into him and not the other way around.

He sat on a bench in a room full of trash that passed as art and waited. He didn't have to wait long. He heard a cough (scoff?) behind him and a few murmured words. He turned to see her, beautiful in torn jeans and a messy ponytail.

"Haven't seen you here before," Rey said, hushed.

"Never been here before," Ben replied. "Thought I'd check it out."

"Hm," was all she said. She moved to a particularly heinous piece and cocked her head to the side. She smiled. Ben thought he heard her murmur, "Lovely," under her breath.

He barked out a laugh. "You think _that's_ beautiful?"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Rey countered defensively.

"It's literal trash."

"The only point you can make about it not belonging in this museum is that it's too close to Modern than Contemporary. It being 'literal trash' is _why_ it's beautiful."

"Garbage isn't art."

"Who are you to decide what is and isn't aesthetically pleasing?" Rey asked, voice raised.

He defaulted to a college nickname. "Ren...oir. Renoir! Like the painter." _Again?_

Rey snorted. "If you hate this art so much, go to a different museum."

"I like it here, thanks."

"You just called the art trash!"

"Not everything here is ugly," Ben said quietly. _Smooth_.

"Whatever. Moving on. Stay here and be pretentious with your ego keeping you company."

_Quadruple fuck._

He would do better this time. Monday, lunch break at the Square. He'd kept his mustache. Quite frankly, he was beginning to become self-conscious about his looks. He opted for a dark hoodie, hood up, and a pair of large reflective sunglasses.

He strode up to the small bistro table where Rey was having a sandwich and sat across from her. Her eyes shot up and she shrieked.

"Why are you freaking out?" He defaulted to another college name. "It's Kylo- Kyle!"

Rey dropped her sandwich and knocked over her chair in her haste to get up. "You look like the goddamn Unabomber! Just go away! I don't care if you're Christ reborn, you're freaking me out!"

_Quintuple fuck._

In retrospect, Ben did see how he had looked like the Unabomber. He Googled the police sketch and thought that, while they really didn't resemble one another, it had been a bad idea for a guy with a mustache to wear a hoodie and reflective sunglasses. He liked to think that he was better-looking than the Unabomber, so he went to the one source who would make him feel better.

He went to his parents.

"Am I more attractive than Ted Kaczynski?" he asked, sullen.

"What on earth are you talking about, Ben?" Leia replied, nearly dropping her cup of tea. Han laughed.

"So I went to the Square and sat by this girl and she freaked out because she thought I looked like his police sketch."

"Did you?" Han asked, still chuckling.

"Well... kind of."

Leia joined Han in his mirth, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Baby," Leia said, "that psycho has nothing on you. You have such strong, chiseled features."

"You have to say that. You're my mom." Ben blushed.

"If I'm not mistaken, you came to hear her say that," Han chimed in.

"Okay, yeah. I've just been making an ass of myself around her all week. I try to look different each time I see her-"

"Jesus, you aren't still stalking Rey, are you?" Han groaned. "Leave the kid alone. You made her miserable enough when you were children."

"That's the thing! I'm trying to apologize, but my brain goes blank or my mouth acts like an idiot each time she's around. And I'm not stalking her. I don't follow her around or anything."

"Then how do you keep 'bumping into' her? You were an asshole, son. Now you have to deal with the repercussions of that. Story of my life."

Leia choked on her tea but nodded emphatically.

"It just sucks. I mean, you know how I feel. It's not fair that she won't even give me a chance to apologize."

"Would you talk to someone who treated you the way you treated her?" Leia asked. Ben could only stare blankly at her. "Exactly. You know what always helps me feel better? A trip to the salon."

"I'm not getting a manicure, Mom."

"Oh, I didn't mean a manicure. Maybe get your split ends trimmed, a nice hot stone massage or facial."

"None of the other stuff, but I guess I _do_ need a trim."

"You always were a vain kid," Han said.

"There's the pot calling the kettle black," Leia replied wryly. "I'll set you up an appointment with my hairdresser if you like."

"A walk-in somewhere will be fine, Mom, but thanks. And thanks for letting me know I'm cuter than a terrorist."

"You may look better than one, but your disposition is just as shitty," Han threw out as Ben reached the door.

"Learned from the best!" he called.

_Sextuple fuck, septuple fuck, octuple fuck._

It was a massacre. A disaster of epic proportions.

Stylists, Ben decided, should not have to share chairs. That way, such mix-ups could be avoided.

All he wanted was a nice shampoo and his ends trimmed. Instead, he emerged blonde. When the stylist had given him his glasses to see how he liked his new 'do, he had dropped and broken them. He had a spare pair in his car, but they were hideous.

Today had been a clusterfuck. First he had looked like a terrorist and now he looked like some kind of creeper with a collection of action figures that had never been taken out of their boxes and an online girlfriend that may or may not actually be female. He would have to go into a drugstore with this hair and those huge glasses to buy hair dye (for he was never going to trust a walk-in chain again). He cursed himself for not having brought his contacts.

But there was an upside. Rey would not suspect a blonde-haired man with oversized glasses to visit her at the scrap yard that night.

Monday night, 7 PM. He was dressed decidedly _not_ like a murderer. He was just a dweeb: a dweeb with terrible hair and terrible glasses standing in a junkyard who would probably stick both feet in his mouth within the first two minutes of seeing her.   

He made a show of picking through metal, clanking and making as much noise as possible. He saw Rey in his periphery, also going through metal, snatching copper with gloved hands.

"You haven't done this before, have you?" Rey asked.

"How'd you know?" Ben replied, voice cracking from surprise. _She talked first._

"No gloves. You're just kind of scooting things around. What are you even looking for?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Ben squeaked, surprised at her friendliness.

"Well, you won't make any money if you don't know what you're looking for." She walked over to him. "I'm Rey. I'd shake your hand, but you're not wearing gloves. I'd loan you a pair, but your hands are a lot bigger than mine."

"Oh, um, thanks. I'm... Matt."

"Good to meet you. What is it you do?"

"I'm a... radar technician."

"Cool. For whom?"

"The, uh, the Navy," he floundered.

Rey narrowed her eyes. "We're in Indiana."

"Vacation. You know, leave. To see my family." _You're fucking this up so badly._

"Ah. That's nice. Well, I should get back to salvaging."

"I have apologizing to do," Ben blurted out.

"Oh." Rey shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Good luck with that."

"Every time I try to apologize, the person I'm trying to talk to either yells at me or leaves."

"Maybe they don't think you deserve to be forgiven." Rey shrugged.

"But even so, shouldn't I be allowed to apologize? She can choose to accept or not, but I was such a jerk and she deserves to hear me say I'm sorry."

"Maybe she thinks you only want to apologize to ease your conscience."

"What kind of dick does that?" Ben shook his head. "Well, teenage me probably would have. But I've had a thing for her for ages. Since we were little kids. When you're little, you pick on the person you like. I didn't grow out of it until it was way too late. Now I'm back from coll- the Navy- and I want to make things, if not good, then at least clear."

"So tell her that." Rey was quiet, and Ben was suddenly immensely grateful to the terrible stylist who had ruined his hair and caused him to break his glasses. She didn't know it was him. They were getting along.  If only he could be Matt the radar technician forever...

"I can't." He said, both to Rey and to himself. He couldn't keep pretending to be other people, making up stupid names and popping up at the places she enjoyed. He himself wasn't good enough for her; a facsimile certainly wasn't.

"Why not?" Rey entreated.

"I told you, she shoots me down every time I try to talk to her."

"Pretend I'm her," Rey said. "Get some practice. I'll even try to stop you talking and everything."

Ben furrowed his brows but nodded. "Um, hi. I just want-"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Please?"

"Nope, you should go away and never come back."

"But I'm trying to say-"

"Don't care."

"This is EXACTLY what she does!" Ben exclaimed.

"So find a way around it. Start again."

Ben took a deep breath. "Hello, I'd like to talk-"

"I don't want to."

"Seriously? I'm trying to be a good guy here-"

"Oh, after years of torture, you're a _good guy_?"

"Argh!" Ben raked a hand through his newly-blonde hair. "How do you suggest I start?"

"Start by saying you're sorry. Nothing else. Go!"

"I'm sorry," Ben said, almost deflated.

Rey raised an eyebrow. "Sorry? You? For what, exactly?"

"Everything."

"No, I meant it. What _exactly_ are you sorry for?"

"For being a playground bully. For calling you names. For destroying your school projects. For insulting your body, because you're beautiful. For saying your parents didn't want you. For beating up your friend. For probably ruining Prom because you had to dance with me. For all the things I did wrong that I can't remember or didn't realize were wrong. It was all unacceptable. You're a person, and I treated you like shit. More than that, you meant something to me. You still do. I understand if you don't accept my apology and want to punch me in the dick again. I just thought you deserved to hear me say that I was wrong and I'm sorry." It seemed to all come out in one breath. When he looked at her, Rey's eyes were closed.

"You forgot one thing," she almost whispered. Ben quirked an eyebrow. "You're sorry for following me and being weird with your outfits and fake names and freaking me out."

"You knew it was me the whole time?" he asked, somewhat horrified.

Rey smiled and shook her head. "A person never forgets the face of their tormentor, scruff or no. Today in the Square was really creepy, though. And this wig is awful."

"Unfortunately, it isn't a wig. There was a screw up at the hair place."

"Yikes."

"So..." Ben began nervously. A street light flickered on.

"So?"

"Can you accept my apology? I understand if you don't-"

"Shut up, Ben."

He nodded. "So that's a no, then. Okay. I'll leave you be. If we run into one another, it'll only be by chance, I swear."

Rey laughed, the pink light of the street lamp casting rosy shadows on her cheeks. "I meant, 'shut up, of course I accept'. I'm a little irritated that it took a costume and some stalking plus coaching to get a proper apology, but it was sweet and sincere."

"Oh. Thank you."

"So... you have feelings for me?"

"Since third grade," Ben admitted, ducking his head.

"You had a funny way of showing it." She punched him in the arm good-naturedly.

"My friends told me over and over to ask you out."

"Why didn't you?"

"I was convinced you'd turn me down."

"You'd have been correct." Rey collected the copper scrap she had gathered and began walking to her truck. "I wouldn't turn you down if you asked now, though."

"What?" Ben followed her like a puppy.

"Candor is endearing, and you have lovely eyes. I'd go on a date with you." She dumped the copper in the truck bed and removed her gloves. "We could talk about what you really do for a living, Mr. Radar Technician, and a million other things. I might even get you to like contemporary art, Renoir."

"Will you ever let me live the stupid names down?"

"Nope."

"You just made me really nervous."

Rey rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because I'm so intimidating."

"You have no idea." Ben looked down at her, eyes full of something akin to fear and reverence.

She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't the sort of kiss people have in the movies. It was a soft moving of lips that was all too brief. It could barely be called romantic, even, but Ben relished those few moments all the same. It was a promise: a promise that there would be a real kiss, should they need it. It was an affirmation of forgiveness. It was a benediction.

"So, here's my cell," Rey said, typing her number into Ben's phone. "Call when you're ready for an actual date instead of an ambush. And one more thing." Rey grimaced and tugged at a lock of Ben's hair. "I won't be seen in public with you until this is back to normal."

Ben laughed. " _I_ don't want to be seen with me until it's back to normal."

Rey climbed into her truck and started the engine.

"See you, Rey," Ben said with a wave.

Rey winked. "Later, Matt."

In the flickering pink light, he grinned and thought that, if Rey could go for geeky Matt, perhaps looks weren't everything. He'd have to tell his father about this and counter Han's claims about his vanity... _after_ he fixed his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it :3
> 
> As always, thanks to Cake for the once-over and putting up with my perfectionism.


End file.
